Shifting your money mindset
Discussing the topic of money can impart universal feelings of shame and discomfort. The narratives that define how we relate to money are known as money stories and drive our thoughts, decisions and actions. They stem from our past and continue to be influenced by many external and cultural factors. How we relate to money is similar to how we relate to anything else in life, from relationships to education. It’s a story that can be rewritten if we act upon it.
What’s the deal with money?
Our inherited stories around money unconsciously drive our daily life. They underpin any financial decisions that we make. Have you ever wondered why you have this story? Was a family member frugal? Perhaps you grew up in an environment where managing money was an issue, so you feel cautious and incapable of handling money. Maybe you’re a creative person who reconsiders a profitable work opportunity for fear of being seen as a sellout. These are stories you have told yourself and become your identity from childhood. They can become destructive if you act on them throughout your life. Since they’re deep rooted in your past, exploring where these stories began is essential in helping you change your behaviour.
“If we want to improve our psychological and financial health, the solution is not to focus on making more money but instead on developing a better, healthier relationship with it”.
-Mind Over Money by Brad Klontz and Ted Klontz
Having a healthy relationship with our finances is entirely possible and completely relevant. In fact, being in control of your finances is being in control of your foundation. Addressing the taboo of talking about money is a great place to start. We need to create space for having conversations around money. This can feel intimidating but the more we talk about it with friends and family, the more financial awareness we build. It can start to break down the barriers to improving your relationship with money. Journaling can initiate the conversation with yourself. Understanding your money story, where it comes from and how it’s impacting your life is essential for you to create your new story: a story that supports your lifestyle and beliefs.
Take a few moments to think about the word money and what it means to you. Write down all of the things that spring to mind; they could be words, colours, people etc. Next, think about experiences, interactions and patterns that have shaped your attitude to money. What are your biggest concerns around money, both past and present? Ask yourself if your current story is useful going forward or would it be healthy to change it. This will help you understand your current financial life and create a new positive story that feels more empowering and less stressful.
Managing money isn’t just about spreadsheets and budgeting, it’s emotional. The gendered stories around money carry historical and oppressive weight. There’s a myth that women are viewed as being bad with money. Who could be surprised by such a stereotype when up to 40 years ago, women were not allowed to handle money. Even today the gender pay gap still exists and women out-earning their male partners in a traditional relationship can be a contentious issue. While our society may not be keeping pace with these changes that women are creating, the tools are there to shift your own mindset, improve your relationship and create a more empowered story around money.
To learn more about what steps you can take to make this happen, have a look at our online workshop with business coach and consultant Anastasiya Dubrovina.
“Overcoming financial insecurity” with Anastasiya Dubrovina takes place on the 15th December 2021 at 7pm - 8-pm CET. You can join us live and ask Anastasiya any questions you have around the subject. If you can’t make it on the day, a replay will be available for Ora Collective members. Members can tune in for free and non-members can RSVP here. If you aren’t yet a member, check out our membership packages for access to our entire library of sessions like this one.